People often describe me as a "nice" person, since I have qualities like agreeableness and honesty. But I don't think I necessarily give people the 'benefit of the doubt' of the kind described by this passage. I certainly don't give it to myself, as a general rule. And one's behavior towards oneself synchronizes with one's behavior towards everyone else, sooner or later.
I have tried to make a habit of being realistic, because I tend to assume that looking at things with rose-colored glasses is the first step toward having a problem that everyone but you knows about, which seems like about the worst state of affairs imaginable. And, obviously there's a point at which a 'benevolent delusion' can become harmful, like in cases of domestic abuse for example. But it can be hard for me to acknowledge that there is usually a substantial amount of wiggle room inside the 'authentic' range, within which it is possible to interpret things any number of ways, favorably or unfavorably. Not only that, but people imitate other people, so your choice can have ripple effects.
I turned in manager feedback last week (it's mid-year discussion time at Microsoft) and the thing I thought of to criticize was my manager's tendency to take a view on things that emphasizes limitations rather than possibilities, since it can be a bit of an enthusiasm-killer. Really this is something I am equally guilty of, though. And when I think about it, it's scary to imagine stepping away from that tendency. It feels like there's a lot of risk attached. But here's the interesting angle: taking a proactive approach to defining and interpreting things in more positive ways can be something you do that benefits others. This means that people may be likely to help you in this effort, as opposed to cut you down.
